9.01.2007

My Personal Hell

Being raised in the Catholic faith, I was led to believe that if one dies with a mortal sin on one's soul, one goes straight to Hell. Because we are inherently flawed humans and engage in sinning on a regular basis, the only way to avoid a trip to Hell is to cleanse your soul by going to Confession. Unfortunately, my last confession was nineteen years ago.

So, what would Hell be like? I tend to think that it is different for everyone. Individualized. My personal Hell would be a small room, roughly the size of, say, a powder room. And in that small room I would be trapped with two small girls. The bigger girl would have a wicked case of encopresis and a dreadful fear of having a bowel movement in the toilet. The smaller girl would sit on the toilet only to get right off and urinate in a big puddle all over the floor. Add to this lovely scene that I would be required to read Once Upon a Potty eighty million times.

This is what it would be like for me, if you believe in this sort of thing, of course.

6 comments:

Lori at Spinning Yellow said...

Oh yes, that would be hell, or reality. Maybe you should go back to confession? Just kidding. Hope it gets better FAST!

Delilah said...

At this point I need a miracle! I forgot to mention that over the weekend Kate fell in, yes fell in the toilet. That was a huge setback. Our next appointment with Dr. Chris is on the 12th. I'm hoping she can help.

Christine said...

Oh. The bathroom. I've grown to hate that room of the house. I could write a book. But I won't of course because who wants to read about our secret stressful pooping life?

This too shall pass? Hopefully?

Delilah said...

Christine-
Thanks for reading! In a strange, sick way it's comforting to know that others out there are going through the same thing. Please tell me it gets better!

slouching mom said...

Oh, no! She fell in the toilet? Poor her! Poor you!

kristen said...

Wow. This sounds pretty bad. I'm with Lori, I think you should just go back to confession. But then what do I know? My last confession was easily 30 odd years ago (sometime after my First Communion?) and our bathroom life isn't a whole lot better.