Coming Home

Last night marked my return to the running world. Butterflies danced around my stomach with the thought of running again after a near 3 year hiatus. Any thoughts of self-doubt quickly dissapated the moment I laced up my too-new-looking shoes. Slipping into those shoes was like being enveloped in the familiar embrace of an old friend.

The class consisted of a diverse bunch ranging from non-runners to those who had a marathon or two under their belt. Most of us, though, were runners who, for various reasons, had fallen out of touch with running. The class was an opportunity to become reacquainted with the sport, a promise of new beginnings. Once a runner, always a runner.

My feet hit the pavement, surprisingly quick and light. I found my pace, lulled into a zone by the rhythmic cadence of my steps and breathing. 2 breaths in, 2 breaths out.

I can. Do this.
I can. Do this.
I can. Do this.

It was, in a word, exhilarating. Like coming home. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I was not running away from the demons that were chasing me, desperately trying to escape. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was running toward something.

The Things I See

She bursts into the dance studio and sings at the top of her lungs, "Hi, Miss Teresa!" She only hears Miss Teresa's words, "Hi, Kate. Put your bag down and get in line." What she doesn't hear is the less-than-enthused tone of the reply, the annoyance in her voice.

But I do.

She needs to be reminded several times to pay attention, follow directions, stay with the group. She doesn't see the exasperated look on the teacher's face.

But I do.

She shows a coveted toy to the group during sharing time. Her words come out disjointed, fragmented. The teacher feigns interest and asks her a question she does not know how to answer. She doesn't see the look of disdain on the teacher's face.

But I do.

She patiently waits her turn to try a new step across the floor. She does it wrong, the entire way. She doesn't notice that the teacher doesn't bother to help her.

But I do.

She is the last one to emerge from the room, no doubt because the contents of her bag must be arranged in a particular order. She doesn't see the impatience in the teacher's hurried movements as she quickly brushes past her.

But I do.

And I wish I didn't.